You WILL die an immediate, painful death PIZZA STEALER.

Too aggressive? Maybe I should go the passive route: Dear person who ate my pizza, I'm glad you ate my pizza. I didn't actually want the leftovers - that's why I put them in the fridge. So you could eat a whole pizza (minus two slices) between the hours of 5am and 10am. Who's even up that early? Actually, I was saving it for my roommate. And you ate it. Now she's dead from starvation. How's that on your conscience? Xoxo, Domino's Whore

I actually  was planning on giving the pizza to my roommate. I was surprised that someone would take food from a communal fridge, especially with such a short opportunity to strike...Maybe after eating 8/10 of the pizza, the thief (or theives!) decided to leave two small pieces? Crazier things have happened between the hours of 5am and 10am.

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